Why Learning to Say NO Lets You Truly Say YES
What do I mean by this? Hasn’t a lot of our message been about saying yes to ourselves? Yes to our desires and yes to our own healing path?
Nothing has changed. I simply am referring more to life priorities then specific desires. Imagine a ticket, where one side says “yes”, the other side will always say “no”. For example, we take the time for a walk, bath, or massage, we are saying no to dishes, meal prepping, or cleaning the living room. Any time we choose to have an exclusive date night with our significant other, we are saying no to spending time with our kids for that span of time. Refusing to stay overtime at work to help make dinner and enjoy quality time at home is valuable, even if it means saving more work for the next day.
See what I mean? It is important to know that for every given week, day, and even hour…what exactly are saying yes to, and what no comes along with that yes? The biggest question in life is, is it worth it?
How do I make every “yes” count?
First question is… what are your “order of loves“? A friend of mine who works at a mission organization described this term to me regarding how she organizes her time as a full-time mom, wife, and missionary. Her first love is always God, then husband, children, extended family, her mission work, and everything else falls after that. Sometimes loving God for her looks like working diligently at her mission work or reading her Bible. Other times it looks like having a date with her husband or setting up a homeschool lesson. The important thing is that she knows what she values. Do we have an order of loves? Not everyone’s order of loves will be the same, but it is important to understand our own values in order to know how to best say yes in each given circumstance.
When I know that my order of loves has been rightly addressed, it becomes a lot easier to enjoy life and be present in whatever I am doing. In the book The Four Agreements, we just finished the chapter called “Always Do Your Best”. The key takeaway I got from that is that when it comes down to it, we should be able to enjoy everything we do. If we are unable to in any sense, we may not be able to do our best at whatever that thing is. This doesn’t mean we will always, if ever, be leaping for joy to get up early for work or spend our day off at multiple doctor appointments. It does mean that in every moment, we are able to be present, and know that the mundane has a greater fulfilling purpose. One of my favorite quotes is by a missionary Jim Elliot, where he states:
“Wherever you are, be all there! Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God.”
When I was in college, I didn’t always love homework or classes, but I knew that by doing them I was working towards my ability to love God and others through my knowledge. Many times, I had to say no to hanging out with friends so that I could complete homework and be free to enjoy church later. Other times I sacrificed study hours to be present with a friend in need, trusting that time would arise for to do that work later. Somehow, it always worked out.
What does your tree look like? How will you say no in order to keep prioritize your yes?
Blessings,
Kaylen and Your Moment of Truth Team
0 comments