Achieving your capable woman through fitness, pregnancy, business & life
So, I turned 46 last week and I wondered about what being a capable woman meant to me.
Birthdays are always a great time for reflection. A milestone: a way to denote the passing of time, a celebration. As I took some time to look at how I was feeling, I noticed sincere gratitude for all the people who took the time to wish me well, check-in, and actually ask about my life and plans to celebrate.
Maybe you saw my video about it, but I was truly surprised at some of the people who reached out – people I’ve never even met in real life. It was refreshing to enjoy the best of Facebook again. But as I thought about what it meant to be 46 and how I felt about turning another year older, especially in this culture that grinds away women as they age, the word CAPABLE kept coming to mind.
I’ve now been doing CrossFit for eight years. Jeesh I really feel like I should be better at pull-ups by now. I always say that CrossFit makes you feel like you suck at life and also like a badass navy seal in training – SIMULTANEOUSLY. It’s a mental battle, one that pushes you out of your comfort zone, shows you when to rest, tells you what you’re made of, and gives you the chance to change and grow – in every workout.
Do you have anything like that in your life?
I have to say that I feel my CrossFit fitness journey has positively impacted my business journey as well. We all need things to challenge us, a chance to decide when to dig deep when to walk away, when to breathe and when to Just. Keep. Going.
So anyway, it can be a grind, right? Always making good choices. Prioritizing fitness and getting to the gym. Pushing past the not feeling like it. Eating well, getting enough sleep, being the wife, the mom, the daughter, and the woman I want to be. Meanwhile, every commercial and external thing trying to convince you that you aren’t enough. What does enough mean to you? When can you lay your head on the pillow and feel good about resting? When do you choose you?
I would guess that answer will be different for everyone. I think for me, it might even be different on different days. I’m grateful that for me, exercise is one of those things that actually is me choosing me. It’s my sanity. Now I also make sure I do yoga and I’m trying to add in more meditation and listening time. Those are more of a discipline for me. Meal prepping or planning is a discipline for me, but I also know they give me life and peace so it’s still me choosing myself and healthy things.
Now in the business, I have a much harder time feeling “done”. Like I’ve done enough to feel good about playtime. Don’t get me wrong, I procrastinate with the best of them. And there’s actually a critical piece that it took me a long time to realize. I LOVE MY WORK. Now obviously, I’ve known that for a while, but for some odd reason, it took me a long time to give myself permission to love my work.
I might’ve lost you with that last part. For example, it’s 9 pm as I sit here writing this. But this is what I WANT to be doing right now. Would I feel guilty if I was watching a movie? Probably not. I’m more likely to feel guilty if I was neglecting my family while writing this. Thankfully Steven and Trevor are at BMX and my teen daughter is very happily chilling in her room texting friends. It took me quite a while to realize that I should not only allow myself to feel good about working when I want to but to embrace, enjoy and fully engulf myself in gratitude that I love my clients, my staff, my space, learning, and growing to keep serving. It’s one of my life’s greatest blessings.
Ok so back to exercise and feeling like capable woman. That’s where I started right? So much of that comes down to choices and perspective. What choices are you making every day? Do they make you feel like a capable woman and positive or do you regret them, tear yourself down and keep wishing things would change?
Teddy Roosevelt is given credit for the quote, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” In this day of social media, it’s easier than ever to compare ourselves to others. Other moms seem to have it all together. Other business owners are crushing it more than you. That neighbor who always seems to look great, even at the gym. This is definitely a danger with CrossFit as we all enter our scores at the end of every workout. However, we are truly supposed to be marking our own weights and times against our previous weights and times. I can’t get a PR (personal record) for beating someone else in the gym. I only get a PR when I improve myself. This can get harder as we age. What is our measurement for improvement? How are we gauging success? The week of my birthday, we happened to have a testing week to check new baselines. These were my weights.
153# back squat
88# squat snatch
To some those seem impressive and to others, no big deal. Only the thruster was a recorded PR for me. And performance is definitely one of those things that are variable. How long had it been since we deadlifted? Had I been training any of those lifts? How fresh was I the day we tested? Ultimately none of that matters. What matters is that I feel healthy, fit, and CAPABLE. When we went camping, I could lift our heavy bin in and out of the car with confidence because I deadlift regularly. When our friends needed help putting kayaks on top of their vehicle, I knew I could be useful because I often and intentionally lift heavy things overhead.
For a lot of our clients, they share that they want to feel good getting on and off the floor after pregnancy, be able to pick up their children easily, load their families into their cars. They want to travel and not worry about bathrooms, to be able to enjoy sex without the constant worry of pain. Feeling like a capable woman to many of them is very closely tied to trusting their bodies and trusting themselves.
So how about you?
What makes you feel capable? And changes your life!