So many women I talk to have anything from mild discomfort to significant pain during intercourse. It can be intermittent which just adds to the confusion.
Often there is a mild to moderate stinging with initial contact. Sometimes this lessens with lube and sometimes it worsens. Sometimes it improves as things stretch/relax and sometimes, continuing on escalates things.
All of these scenarios can happen to the same person at varying times in the cycle. Let’s discuss some facts:
1) Our uterus changes size and position throughout our cycle which can change what is bumped internally and how it feels
2) Our natural degree of lubrication changes throughout our cycle, including it being completely normal to have a dry phase and sticky phase that each last a few days and can make things less comfortable.
3) Hormones affect our lubrication particularly while pregnant, breastfeeding and post partum as well as in perimenopause and menopause.
4) Being “in the mood” will not necessarily translate to wetness nor does wetness automatically imply being into it.
What happens when the Uh-Oh vibes take over the brain?
The best option is to avoid there ever being pain or penetration while dry because that can cause micro tears and tissue trauma that increase pain and perpetuates the cycle.
Once there is pain, the brain gets more involved. It’s very common for there to be that initial stinging as a type of early warning system of the brain trying to get you to pause and say “don’t you remember this hurt last time?”
Then that initial stinging or any structural restrictions causing pain require even more mind body cooperation and healing to fully resolve. This is something I work on with clients all the time.
I really can’t emphasize enough the need to avoid pain in the first place. Here are my top 3 tips!
- Use lube. We love Good Clean Love from Amazon – 95% organic, aloe based and pH balanced for vaginal pH. Even if you think you might have enough moisture, this can avoid a lot of issues
- Soaking Wet or similar product. We tested this one from VB Health. Click HERE for their website or HERE for my rundown of their ingredients.
- Lots of foreplay and ideally, women orgasm first. This literally opens the vaginal canal and allows for uterus to move up.Â
Would love to hear from you if you have any tried and true methods we can pass on to our other MOT family – please hit reply and let us know!
Blessings,
Amy and the whole MOT team
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