Take this week to notice –
How many times per day do you say I’m sorry?
It happens the most in the locker room.
“I’m sorry” Literally a woman who needed to go past my locker – when I had my door open in the way – apologized to me for needing to get by🤦♀️
Happened again Friday when a woman needed to get the Q-tips and I was standing somewhat close to counter as she reached. “I’m sorry” she said.
Sometimes the grocery store. Carts meet around a corner and BOTH women apologize.
WHY do we say “I’m sorry?”
This past year, I’ve really focused on intentionally saying “excuse me”.
Women should not apologize for taking up space.
Women should not apologize for taking up space.
How many times would I have to type it to be enough for it to sink in?
Women should not apologize for taking up space, or for needing something or for simply walking.
There just really isn’t any other way to say it and I see it happen all the time.
Women simply needing a locker, or to get some lotion while another woman is doing her hair at the mirror. Reaching for items on conflicting shelves, stepping near a doorway.
Just take a few moments to think about times you say you’re sorry. I am not talking about apologies – I am talking about those quick moments when it just pops out of your mouth. You miss a call and say “sorry for missing you.” Start with your morning and scan through your day – where are you speaking words that aren’t true?
Not only does that diminish you but it also diminishes apologies when you really need to make them. What do those words truly mean anyway – I’m sorry. True repentance is turning 100% in the opposite direction. No need to repent for just taking up space. Or any of most of the things.
So how do we stop this habit? The first step is noticing it. Without awareness, there is no choice. That’s a lesson I first learned from John Barnes, my mentor in myofascial release. Let’s look at these rephrases below.
I know I have chosen to focus on using “excuse me” instead of sorry when crossing paths, bumping carts or any of space issues mentioned above. Here is a whole chart of better substitutions!
Which ones do you recognize that you say?
Take a minute to think of the reasons you say that. Don’t spend too much time on that because wondering “WHY” often gets us stuck.
It’s good to reflect and look at what our heart truly feels and the root of our behaviors, but don’t get stuck. Just look at the column on the right and pick 1-3 that feel significant to you and commit to changing it.
I already mentioned that I’ve chosen to use “Excuse me” instead of I’m sorry. I’ve also decided to stop saying I’m sorry when I have to say no to something.
Now if I messed up my schedule and overcommitted and have to change, I might apologize for not being more thoughtful with my calendar or if I’ve wasted their time but it’s also ok to acknowledge things needing to change without it being an apology.
We’d love to hear which ones you choose!
Stop apologizing!
Blessings from Amy and the Moment of Truth team
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