Hello Beautiful Souls 💞
Theresa here for another beautiful Wellness Wednesday! 🌱
Let’s just get right to it. Being a woman and working in a predominant women environment there are a lot of conversations around relationships and our significant others. There seems to be a theme of frustration of men not pulling their weight. As women we feel like we have to do everything and we get irritated when we see our man has been home for hours and the trash needs to be taken out, something(s) needs to be cleaned, and you are both asking what are we doing for dinner? I am blessed to say my man does most of the cooking and has NEVER nagged me about chores not being done. But I would be lying If I would say there haven’t been nights I have gotten off of work, went to the gym, need my self care time, and return home to an overflowing laundry hamper, things around the house needing to get done, and know he’s looking for some intimacy.
Past Theresa, has be passive aggressive and would huff and puff and be running around the house trying to do it all. Thankfully, my man has eyes and has no problem with confrontation. “What do you need?” He asks me. Shocked, I found myself not wanting to speak up and not wanting to ask for help. There is/was discomfort in asking hey can you clean the toilet, can you sweep, can you wipe down the counters in the kitchen, etc. all the little details that are going off in our female brains 24/7 but God forbid we ask our counterpart for help or tell them what WE NEED.
Why is that so? I think a lot of us gaslight ourselves into thinking we don’t need things, that it’s a want. That we just have to be okay with doing it all ourselves.
I have been asking the same brain teaser question to our clients “What do you need?”
One of our feisty clients retorted “Well, I always get what I want.” Okay, but what if what we want has been toxic…. what if we have been settling for less than we deserve because we were told we were “wanting” too much? What if communicating and expressing ourselves to someone we open our bodies to or even ourselves is actually a NEED. A lot of us are in this space to heal and we are healing more than just our pelvic floors. Our bodies take note and remember EVERYTHING.
So with that little tid bit, I invite you to give yourself permission for being human and having needs and start asking “What do I need.?” Do we need a nap? Do we need some movement? Do we need to cry and have a tantrum? Do we need to drink some water? Do we need some cuddles and softness to regulate? We are not just here to just survive anymore! As women, we THRIVE when we feel safe. What do you need to feel safe?
We need to identify what those needs are and we are the ONLY ones who can answer that for ourselves. How can we expect our partners, friends, family, to show up for us if we don’t even know ourselves? Kind of setting unrealistic expectations with no clarity if we don’t know either, right?
Below is an image of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Please please please, do yourself the service of giving yourself permission to identify and ask for what you need. I hope this message shines some light on where you may be feeling unsupported. We are always here for you if you need help with this. And thank you if you took the time out of your busy day to read this. Amy is shaking her head at me telling me this wasn’t short, I know it! 😆 (LOVE YOUUU!)
Much Love,
Theresa and the Moment of Truth Team 💖
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